Trying to “get back” to chronicling our journey with MM. The further we get away from it the harder it becomes as we all feel we are getting back to a more normal lifestyle. But… I feel it is important, for those in the throws of this journey to know that they are not alone in that overwhelming feeling you can have as your life, as you know it, slips away from you and things feel out of your control. Remember you can use the categories on the right to see just these entries and not all the other stuff I have written about.
CB# 30
July 11, 2008
“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.” – Ryunosuke Satoro
My “hat”. My job.
RR (my boss) and I haven’t seen each other for a whole month! I fled to California when Dave went into the hospital and he was on travel abroad. I was originally on the hiring committee to help chose my replacement, but because I have such wonderful co-workers, they expertly carried on without me with even more urgency knowing my situation was radically changing. In an ideal world, I would have just kept working until a suitable replacement was found and more personally turned over my hat to them. To recap for some of you, I was the only administrative person who worked exclusively for the research center. The director, several professors, many graduate students and the engineering college. You know, you become the “go-to” person for anyone trying to get information or an audience. I have never been unable to turn over my hat in a proper manner, and in the past was known for doing a great job of this, so much so, that folks didn’t even often realize I was gone. It was an important feather in my cap over the years and this situation was extremely uncomfortable for me. I cared deeply for everyone and didn’t want to abandon them, even though I know, folks do survive and would do what they needed too in order to keep things moving forward, but you know, its hard.
Carolyn & I receiving "surprise" acknowledgement awards from Prez 'K' at an All-Star Meet
Not only did I have this important job in my life, I was also a long time board member of the Montgomery County Diving League (MCDL). While turning over this hat wouldn’t be terribly hard, I also developed and ran the safety certification program we started for our coaches, that also was open to another league’s coaches, and most important, I was the All-Star “Table Babe”, running our annual All-Star meet at the end of each season. I loved this job. I loved the kids. The parents who always came every year to help me. It involved organizing and scheduling over 150 volunteers over two days of competition.
Montana winning her age group years ago at All-Stars
Fortunately, I had been “writing up” the hat for a number of years so that each year I could simply grab the box and everything was already organized. Thank god. But handing it off in such a flurry with no idea who would step up and take it was stressful. Telling people I was available to discuss it with them was one thing, having them feel comfortable calling me was quite another. Not too mention on a very personal level, I would be unable to see my daughter, Montana, compete in her final summer league competition as an 18 year old. I was also unable to attend the banquet afterwards where she was featured as a competitor who had completed her many years of eligibility in the league.
Age 9, Washington Post Photo that a parent did a photoshop background. Always wished she would do cliff diving, but she says I'm nuts!
I was desperately trying to stay focused on what was most important and be willing to ALLOW all the amazing and wonderful people in my life to HELP me in this crisis. They knew I wasn’t being irresponsible and “dumping” my responsibilities, but it sure felt awful on so many fronts.
The MCDL Board stepped up and did what they do and assured me it would be taken care of and thanked me for all my hard work, and wanted to know how Dave was doing and what more they could do on a personal level. I loved the people in MCDL and in particular past and current Board members dearly. I would miss them deeply.
My replacement at work, Mary, and I had a brief meeting before I left and we made plans for how we would handle her training. The IT guys at the university set up my laptop to be able to remote desktop into my old work computer and my boss kept me on the payroll for an additional month on an hourly basis. Prior to all of this, my IT guys had set up an internal Wiki page set up for me, which was outstanding and I was able to put up particular jobs and duties on there with links and screenshots for my replacement to be able to reference. I wasn’t finished with it yet, so being able to remote desktop in after Mary went home at the end of the day helped me to continue “writing up my hat” for her.
Anyway, I would get up very early in the morning on the west coast, call into Mary and we would work an hour or two on different aspects of the job and I could remote into her computer and show her where things were and how to accomplish certain tasks. As she worked in the job she was able to have questions that I could help her with. She is delightful and I have enjoyed my time on the phone with her showing her the ropes. It has been bitter/sweet.
It is always interesting how things do indeed “work out”. Its not all by accident of course, but through your efforts in your life and those wonderful folks you have attracted into your circles who just DO what needs to be done. It sometimes takes quite a while before you come up for air and realize just how many folks did help you and what they actually did. So to all of you, if I haven’t expressed it personally, Thank you!
