Each day without you,
is one more day closer
to finding you again-
Each moment a pain pierces my heart,
is one more moment closer
to feeling your love –
Each time I cry for you,
is one more time that will bring me to the day
I smile and laugh,
for having known you –
Moment by moment, bit by bit,
all that you were
is becoming all that you are.
Each time I miss you and fall into the crevasse,
is one more climb I will make
to finding comfort
in your memory –
Each time I turn the
corner expecting you there,
I remember how much I love you –
Each time my eyes
suddenly fill up with momentary blindness,
I imagine you,
brushing up against me,
to rest your worried head –
Moment by moment, bit by bit,
all that you were
is becoming all that you are.
Each time I grieve the loss of you,
is one more time that heals my pain.
One more moment, I step toward you.
One more moment closer
to embracing all that you gave me,
instead of all that I have lost.
Moment by moment, bit by bit,
all that you were
is becoming all that you are.
That in my grieving over you, I will become whole again.
And the wind will be at our backs,
the road will rise to meet us,
and the sun’s warmth will caress us.
Until we meet again, play my sweet prince, play.
Go and spread the magic of you.
– LP
Bullonney you’re not a poet. Words come so easily for you. They flow like butter on a warm pancake. I’m sitting here looking at pictures of Kip, reading your descriptions and tears are streaming down my face. Your words paint pictures. I’m in awe of you and glad to call you my friend.
Your poetry is beautiful. Yes, grief is work. I love the idea of leaning into it. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Karen. I have never heard “the work of grief.” It is work. And a work in progress. We have all had enough grief in our lives to know we must honor it and MOVE THROUGH it. To resist, suppress it, alter it, is futile and only prolongs the journey to get from here to there. I’m getting there. Each day is a little easier, a little less intense and friends have done a great job of telling me what they loved about him, which makes me laugh. Each time I laugh and appreciate the joy and smiles he brought to so many, I take solace in all he gave me. The thought of all he gave me vs. all I lost popped into my head today. I went to write it down thinking I would “work on it” and instead it just flowed to a finished project. I’m not a poet, but it felt good to make the effort.
I love “leaning into your grief.” That is indeed what I am doing. People have expressed concern and I have said, what Susie said to me, I’m “honoring it.” He deserves it and I deserve it. We had a great journey together. Bit by bit it is coming back to me. Those many wonderful and mundane moments we shared, day in and day out. Of course, that was one of his gifts – NOTHING was ever mundane to him. Everything garnered his full ZEST for life and joy in the doing. It used to make me laugh. There was never anything he wasn’t UP for.
dear lori,
i am so moved by your words to your beloved kip. leaning into your grief is not easy, but when it allows your heart to feel and express so much of what he means to you, what remembering him then and remembering him now promises, your grief can give way to little glimpses of hope that , as you so eloquently wrote, “all that you were is becoming all that you are,” you, lori, with these words, and kip, with his incredible life with you, will pass on this hope to all of us who grieve. grief leaves one soooo weary – one comes to understand the phrase, “the work of grief” – what grief counselors advocate for seeing it through . i hope when you climb into your bed tonight, you pat the spot next to you and say, “come kip, lay beside me, boy. i need you near me, to feel your love and the warmth of you next to me.” then gently fall asleep, knowing he’s right there. i know he will be…love, karen