Riding The Wave – Multiple Myeloma

Bruce & Dave @ dinner October '11

“I wouldn’t be alive except for you and Nick!” – Bruce Bertsche

“No… it’s because your wife Jan called me.” – Lori 

This was the cute little banter Bruce and I would have from time to time when others were around and he would tell them of his story and how he got to Arkansas for treatment of his Multiple Myeloma.

Bruce sadly, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, the day before Thanksgiving, on November 23rd, while in Arkansas receiving yet another treatment and on a new trial drug. Bruce was classed as “Ultra High Risk” by MIRT/UAMS when he originally went there.

In early ’09, his wife Jan, began a correspondence with me and eventually live phone calls. Bruce had been diagnosed with MM and went on disability from work to treat it. His treatment failed and he lost vision in one eye. He had lesions all over his spine, high in the neck area and there was real fear he would become paralyzed if he suffered a fracture there. Bruce seemed to be resigned to his fate, but his wonderful wife Jan, was not accepting this lying down and became very proactive in her search to find further treatment for her beloved Bruce who she would have been married to 43 years today. She took early retirement from her job and tackled this development in their lives they way she tackles everything in her life. With focus, diligence and commitment.

An amazing, fulfilling, and lovely friendship developed for me with Jan and Bruce ever since. Ultimately she got him to Little Rock. He was gotten into CR and sustained it for an entire year, which was pretty awesome for his particular presentation of MM.

But alas, in January of this year they went back for a check up and Bruce had relapsed. They had been in Arkansas ever since.

I want to say that Bruce was doing well, but you know that it is all relative in the world of cancer and Multiple Myeloma. But he was, all things considered. He was getting pretty heavily treated and attacked with all manner of concoctions. He was even offered the Natural Killer Cells protocol, but he and Jan decided not to go that route in the end. They missed home but had found new friends and created a life in Little Rock during the better part of this year.

Me, Jan & Margaritas April '11

Jan was approached by the director to start a support group for the High Risk MM patients at UAMS. She had become the unofficial ombudsman there. An able, thoughtful, kind, loving partner to Bruce and to countless others that began going to her and confiding in her about their troubles and fears. Her presence and support of UAMS, and all who are affiliated there was not lost on anyone. She became my go-to person when others I met online headed off to Arkansas. Connecting them up with her upon their arrival to help them get situated. She never once turned me down and always said about passing on her contact information to them, “Oh, please do Lori. I will do whatever I can.”

So what happened? We aren’t sure. Jan reluctantly agreed to an autopsy so the trial would not be shut down. It was Bruce’s last gift to all the research going on there. She knew he wouldn’t want others to not have a drug that was clearly benefitting them. But we think it was either a heart attack or a blood clot to the lung. They were headed out to the clinic when he went down and after getting him into the car with help of another caregiver in the apartment complex, Bruce took his last breath.

Their adult children and grandchildren had arrived in Arkansas that week to share in the Thanksgiving festivities with them and all had gotten to spend some time with Bruce. They helped in all manner of things that had to be attended to in the aftermath. Jan is home now with all the memorial and funeral arrangements going on and trying to come to grips with what happened.

Never underestimate your value and how you touch the lives of others. In situations like this, as hard as they are, I have never regretted having come to know you. Thank you Bruce, for everything. You enriched my life significantly. I am happily forever changed for knowing you.

Bruce’s obit:

Bruce

Roger Bruce Bertsche  age 61 of Bloomington, IL 61704 passed away at 9:25 AM on Wednesday, November 23, 2011 at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences “UAMS”, Little Rock AR. His funeral service will be 11:00 AM Monday at St. John’s Lutheran Church 1617 E. Emerson St., Bloomington, IL. Pastor James Reents will officiate. Visitation will be  2:00 PM-6:00 PM Sunday at the Calvert & Metzler Memorial Home, Bloomington, IL and from 10:00AM-11:00 Monday at the church. Private inurnment will be at St. John’s Lutheran Church Columbarium, Bloomington, IL. The family suggests memorials be made to Multiple Myeloma Institute for Research and Therapy, St. John’s Lutheran Church, Bloomington, IL or to a charity of the donor’s choice. Roger was born June 8, 1950 in Pontiac, IL the son of  Milton and Marjorie Fredrickson Bertsche. He married  Janice Marie Carls on November 28, 1968 in Flanagan,IL. Shesurvives.
Also surviving his mother Marjorie Bertsche, Flanagan, IL, 2 Children; Bruce ( Penny) Bertsche, Lafayette, IN and Lori (Jeff)  Kauser, McKinney, Texas. 5 Grandchildren; Brenden and Haley Kauser, McKinney, TX, Ellie, Brock and Beck Bertsche, Lafayette,IN. 1 Sister; Sherri (Mark) Hynes, Chicago, IL and 3 Brothers; Kevin ( Cindy) Bertsche, Flanagan, IL, Rodney (Lori) Bertsche, Hudson, IL, and Mark (Kim) Bertsche, Towanda, IL. Also surviving many nieces and nephews.
He is preceded in death by his father.
Roger was the manager at Evergreen FS Farmtown on route 150 Bloomington IL for the past 26 years. He graduated from Illinois State University, Normal. Roger enjoyed landscaping and gardening. He enjoyed spending time with his family especially his grandchildren who called him “Papa”. His doctor said Roger was an inspiration to all the multiple myeloma patients at UAMS. Roger had a strong Christian faith. He was a loving husband, son, father, grandfather, brother and uncle. He will be missed by all who knew him. (http://calvertmemorial.com/obits/2011/11/roger-bruce-bertsche/)

It took me 3 days to tell Dave. I suffered through Thanksgiving without a word to him about it. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I am so thankful that Jan called me and we talked for a long while, finding out all the details of what happened as we know them now. At the end of our long conversation she said, “So Lori… when are you going to tell Dave?” I sighed, “Now Jan. I promise I will go tell him now.” She said, “Good.”  Dave cried.

When this all started, I was the teacher and the guide for Jan. Over this experience our roles have been reversed and she has become my teacher, guide, and inspiration. Always sharing her humor and sunny disposition, offering me support and helping me to keep my balance.

I received this message from another MM patient I met in our early days in Arkansas. I had introduced them to Jan & Bruce recently and we all went out to dinner this past October when we were there for check ups.

“Lori,

This is sad news. I think about both Bruce and Jan almost every day. He touched my life in just that one evening. If there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. I would love to send flowers or contribute in any way Jan feels would be the best tribute to Bruce.

Best Wishes,

A.L.”

Tags: Arkansas, Bruce Bertsche, Jan, Little Rock, Ultra High Risk MM