ARGH! Dave was getting a sore throat last week and got a nice hacking cough. He’s successfully on the mend, but it brings up that FEAR that strikes at the heart of even the toughest caregivers whose loved ones have cancer where they have wiped out your immune system to try to get you back to “normal”.
I remember the first business trip Dave took without me to a damn conference of all things. He called me when he arrived and he had just gotten to the hotel from his flight and he sounded awful. Inside I could feel the electricity from the fear running through my body. But like all things along these lines, I remained calm on the outside for Dave. Stoic my Aunt says. She says I have my grandmother’s stoic genes. I guess. It reminds me of when your children get hurt and you don’t let them see how freaked out you are with all the blood on their knees or from bumping their head. You calmly deal with it and feel relief when its just a scrape. Or even if its more, you stay calm so they aren’t afraid, which just makes it worse for them. They look to you for reassurance.
Anyway, Dave had asked me what he should do and I said, “Come home. Now.” He didn’t. ARGH! Non-Compliant patients are a pain in the tookus! The good news was he took precautions, kept his days as short as possible and made it home only to sleep the whole weekend. But he actually recovered in a normal time frame and his body responded normally and excellently to typical cold treatment. So while on the one hand I was terrified, on the other hand I was greatly pleased that he did have some defenses.
We had this happen frequently in the beginning of completing our treatments and then lately he has been fine. But he’s been working way to hard, too many long hour days and Saturday mornings and he got a sore throat. Salt water rinses eased the discomfort, but it progressed full blown. Again, I tried to get him to stay home to work a couple days this week, but he said he couldn’t, “people” were coming in to the office. Damn!
This one worried me a little different as it wasn’t just a head cold but the sore throat meant it was in the membranes of his throat which lead to the GI track which has been ravaged by the chemotherapy. Chemo kills rapidly reproducing cells – that’s what cancer is. As result it kills ALL rapidly reproducing cells, which is why your hair falls out and your GI track gets all messed up. We have him on probiotics through yogurt or kefir and even pills (but he prefers to eat it than take a pill) to replace the good bacteria in his digestion system. He is on prophylactic antibiotics so we really have to keep putting the good stuff back everyday.
Again, he slept most of the weekend and was quite cranky. He hasn’t been cranky in a while. But again, he is on the mend nicely and again I’m relieved he has some defenses. I have no illusions about all this, a simple infection can take on a life of its own and one could be dead in a matter of weeks. Its happened to others, but fortunately its not terribly common for someone where Dave is now, but of course, its the story we hear, the one promoted by medicine to illustrate to us how important it is to stay healthy, wash hands, etc. So its one of those things that is front and center in your mind. You don’t really care if it’s rare, if its your loved one, its not rare enough!
All I can tell you is, it happens, its scary, stay calm, deal with it head on, and remember to not let your guard down on the germs. (And of course, upset, bad news, nagging, anxiety…things that suppress the spirit and predispose a person to the millions of germs we come into contact with everyday!) So I’ll be wiping down handles and such around the house and car and reminding Dave to do the same at work in his office. One of the “cute” things is when Dave travels, if he’s with one of his co-workers – who happens to be a germ-a-fobe, I just have to say, “Bill, make sure Dave…” and he says, “No worries Lori, I’m on it!” and HE IS – all over Dave on the plane to wipe it down, use the purell, etc. I love Bill for that.
Yes, and I forgot to mention, wash hands, wash hands, wash hands!
A timely reminder to us all Lori.
You care.
Sid