Riding The Wave – Multiple Myeloma

Gregg, Me, Gail (Dave's reflection in the window!)

“The sincere friends of this world are as ship lights in the stormiest of nights.” – Giotto di Bondone

What a GREAT SURPRISE! My next door neighbors from our home in Olney (Brookeville, MD) were visiting the west coast and on their way back from Tahoe to San Francisco to catch a redeye they stopped in to see us! 

What an wonderful unexpected treat. I had noticed that they were in Tahoe from some photos she put up on Facebook. Within hours a phone call came in and it was Gail! I said, “Are you in Tahoe?” She said, “Yes and it’s beautiful, we were wondering if we could stop by and see you guys?” When Dave woke up from his red eye flight Saturday morning I said, “Guess whose stopping by today for a few hours? Gregg & Gail!” He looked at me all bleary eyed, “No way, get outta here!” Of course, they called and would be arriving 3 hours earlier than first thought so I wasn’t able to get to the grocery store with the ETA change. I wanted to make some dinner for them. But I pulled it off. They were happy to eat out, but I said, “Well we can, but I’m feeling GREEDY with your time!”

Our story is fun. I had met Gregg a decade, give or take, before we became next door neighbors, through some mutual friends and interests. I knew he lived in Olney, was married and had three girls, but I never ran into him out and about. Different activities of our kids and overlap in ages. We lived in different neighborhoods. Anyway, we heard from a mutual friend that we were both moving to the same spot in a new development. It was easy to know this as only a few houses were being built at the time “behind the Novitia” (a 23 acre spread owned by the Catholic Church that was like an old folk’s home for retired Nuns). A beautiful piece of property lined completely with four rows of mature pine trees separating the open field from the new development.

Kip & Maddie on Sasha's Bed

One day while we were visiting our home under construction, Gail and Gregg pulled up to visit theirs. We met out in the court and an instant and deep friendship began. We were both extremely excited to be moving in next door to one another and we maintained the excitement as it grew over the years.

We bought our labs from the same litter. Kip & Maddie. Gregg didn’t want to put a fence around his yard, who could blame him, our backyards were so beautiful with all the greenery and the Novitia. So we discussed an “Invisible Fence” around both of our yards, front and back, so our puppies could have two suburban lots to roam freely and play. Kip and Maddie had two families, two houses and five children to spoil them rotten. We never kenneled our dogs, each taking the other when we went away, giggling at their different personalities and how they interacted with each other. Gail found a private trainer and we began our education on being suburban dog owners in earnest, which made for fabulous family companions.

Early on, we discovered Kip had a terrible hole in his heart and we cried. I refused to return him to the breeder as I knew he would put him down and made the long trek to Virginia Tech Vet School for an assessment. He exhibited pretty quickly something called “exercise aversion”. Maddie could run like the wind and was stunning to watch. Kip had short bursts of energy, but couldn’t keep up. True to form and my first lesson to my children about life, was watching him overcome his disability. We would throw the stick or ball and Maddie would take off, Kip would follow for a bit and then wait. As Maddie would run back with the item, Kip would intercept her and they would wrestle for it, sometimes both carrying each end of the stick in their mouth to bring it back like a team of well trained horses. I said, “Look at that! Kip has figured out how to still make a game out of what he cannot do! Impressive. Kids, that’s what life is all about. Overcoming barriers and deficiencies!”

When Hudson had his first Regimental Ball to attend as a Freshman in HS, he didn’t have a date. I violated all the rules of motherhood and approached Dana (the middle daughter and champion swimmer) and asked if she would go with Hudson. She didn’t hesitate. Hudson forgave me. Why wouldn’t he? He had the prettiest girl at the Ball and her reputation in the pool was well known. Needless to say his stature was boosted. “Dude… Dana? Wow! How do you know her!” She is simply lovely and kind and smart. My mother had passed away only days before the Ball and the stress and our profound loss was ever present. All of us desperately trying to rise above our grief to make this big event in Hudson’s life wonderful. Dana graciously did her part to make it all work for Hudson, which is indicative of her graciousness and generosity and that of her parents. She was ill the week before and I know she would have much rather spent that evening curled up in bed watching TV nursing her cold, but she made it all go right and it was wonderful.

Gail and I both became “Reps” for swim and dive at our local pool in the same year. There had been some past upsets between the two activities and she and I made it our mission to turn it around and we did. This success became the talk of the league in the county. Many of the pools that shared a dive team began to ask how we did it and incorporated some of the changes we made to help make the two team activities more inclusive. We left our positive mark and I enjoyed working with her on this immensely.

Gail, to me, is an amazing modern woman role model. A teacher by education, she raised her girls with family her center focus, while always keeping her hands in the profession she is passionate about as a part-time reading specialist. As the last of the three headed into HS, Gail stepped up her teaching, moved into a Principal training program that was a multi year commitment and incredibly rigorous. Night school, internships, two years as assistant principal and then finally she attained a full principalship status at the local elementary school where my children had attended. Gail hosted and organized Dave’s and my going away party. Dave was unable to attend as he was just diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and couldn’t come home for the party or the move. While at the party I presented Gail with a cheerleading megaphone and the calligraphed artwork I had rendered for the first principal at Brooke Grove Elementary many years before. She was gobsmacked, as they say in England, as she wondered who had done those beautiful notecards she had seen from her new school! Small world.

When Dave got diagnosed, Gail did what she always does. She came over and said, simply, “Lori, what can I do? What do you need? Just tell me what I can do to help.” That’s Gail, a village leader, mover and shaker. But for me, my friend.

With three children all through college, getting settled in their lives, and her career solidly taking off, she is a great example of women having it all, just not all at the same time. Staying true to what is important in your life and being patient that it will all come in due course. I admire her greatly and love her girls. We shared in every heartache and success experienced by our families. I felt incredibly blessed to have them in my life and the added convenience of being my next door neighbors!

And of course, Miss Maddie, who I miss terribly running in and out of my house with The Kipmeister or arriving home from work to see two beautiful labs lounging on my porch like southern blood hounds on a lazy afternoon.

Anyway, a great flyby visit and one of the things I enjoyed about living in DC area and now here. I’m on the beaten path to somewhere special for many of my friends and acquaintances, which affords me these wonderful unexpected pleasures in life.

Tags: Friends Visit