Kip
“There’s nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.” – Margaret Elizabeth Sangster
Finally! I’m home at last! I got in around midnight last night from Miami via Minneapolis/St Paul. A long day of traveling to be sure. My phone went on the fritz part way through my trip and then with all the traveling and no internet or phone I have felt very “unconnected” to my friends and the events of the world.
Captain Jim
Sadly when I got home I learned that our friend, Jim, had passed away and was buried while I was gone. He had Stage 4 Prostrate Cancer, diagnosed in 2007. We had met him when he and his beautiful wife, Kathy, had hosted my family on their houseboat for a week in Northern California in 2007. He learned of his cancer at the end of the summer and we were all very distressed and saddened. He had had no symptoms and it was found in his annual checkup with elevated PSA numbers. When Dave was diagnosed in ’08, Kathy, Jim, Sarah (their daughter) and Dan were right there with Dave, caring for him and showing immense concern and support toward us in all that we were dealing with. Jim was a Viet Nam Vet and father of three, with wonderful grandchildren. He loved life, his wife, his family, his dog, and his boat. It is still, by far, the best family vacation we have ever had and we will miss him so much.
It seems at times like people are just dying all around us from this beast we call cancer. There is no rhyme or reason and the pain and loss felt by the families who love them so, is incredibly painful. What can you say really? Not much. How do you console them – with cliches? I think not. Their loss is a huge void that can never really be filled and while time does ease the immense and overwhelming grief, they are always missed. All I can share really is what I do – and that is, to find ways to honor them in small ways. Things to remind me of them and how much they gave me while I knew them and they were a part of my life. I share stories of them with my children and laugh at old memories with others who were there. I wear my mother’s favorite perfume from time to time, and put Christmas PJ’s under the tree from her for everyone on Christmas Eve. She used to do this so we had nice PJs for Christmas morning photos. We hated it as kids, but have enjoyed the wisdom and humor in it, and continued the tradition. I have my father’s flag draped on his coffin prominently displayed in my home with some of my favorite photos of him. It really stinks to lose those who have touched our lives. I simply work to touch others in the ways they touched me and “pay it forward” as they say. But I never stop missing them.
Hudson and I flew to Tampa, from Maryland, and then headed down to Miami to get him situated in his new apartment and ready for work on the 7th. All was accomplished, with a few “events” along the way, and he is enjoying his new job and getting to know the area. We stayed with a relative of his grandmother’s and they were so helpful in the move. The relative’s husband is Cuban, and came over on a raft some 16 years ago. It was a bit of a culture shock for me there. I rarely heard english being spoken, as it is not the language of choice. Hudson’s spanish will quickly improve while he is there which he needs it for his work.
Miami Apt Complex
I will miss him, but have thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together and getting his apt furnished with the basics. Cooking and freezing food, ironing his shirts, organizing his kitchen and putting together furniture we purchased at IKEA. He’s in a lovely area outside of South Miami and about 20-30 minutes from work in, Homestead. He has so much to learn, but he is excited and up for the task.
Dave held up relatively well while I was gone and looks to have lost a few more pounds (a good thing). But the fridge is empty and the house is dirty. I’m exhausted, still on East Coast time and little sleep. I will be busy getting things sorted out over the next few days and watering all my beautiful new plants in the yard that Hudson planted for us. I have my phone to contend with and the list of things I need to address has grown, seemingly exponentially, while I’ve been away.
Oh! One final note that is in the realm of strange coincidences and miracles… A family we met in 2001, or there about, in Cancun, Mexico, who was from Brazil, but lived in Virginia, found my blog. Their father has MM. One of the daughters has kept in touch with Hudson ever since and he has visited them in Virginia. We couldn’t believe it, and so while in Miami I was on the phone with one of the adult children, who has taken it upon herself to manage the medical issues for her parents, discussing his situation. He is 56 and been treating his MM unsuccessfully for over a year. I encouraged them to go to Little Rock and receive a consultation and a different perspective on his treatment options. We were both amazed that we met all these years ago and now are both dealing with the same “rare” disease and that Hudson had stayed in touch with them all this time. I wish them well and hope that he can be made more comfortable and a better quality of life. It can be a very small world indeed. Having them find my blog, and gain inspiration and hope from it for their father, was an achievement on a very personal level for me. Of course, I wish he didn’t have it, but I’m glad to have been of some small support and assistance to them.
