Thunderbirds
“You’re always on your way somewhere. The key is: find a way to be happy wherever you now are on your way to where you really want to be. (We’re speaking of the state of being you want.) It does not matter where you are; where you are is shifting constantly – but you must turn your attention to where you want to go. And that’s the difference between making the best of something and making the worst of something.” – Esther Hicks
As a military brat, and one who has stayed very connected to my fellow childhood brats and who also collects new ones along my life’s journey, we have a unique and shared experience no matter how our parent’s served or what Branch, or even for how long. There are some interesting characteristics and understanding that we all uniquely share. And then there are marked differences. Some got the wonderful experience of being stationed overseas in faraway cool places, like Germany, Greece, Japan, Spain, Guam, etc. Some sadly moved ridiculous amounts of time and attended so many schools that they had different struggles as teenagers being ripped out of their senior year, for instance, leaving their beloved horse behind, and so on. But still, most of us wouldn’t trade our experiences for anything. We have a common bond. We are BRATs! When asked where I’m from, my opener is always, “Well, I’m a Military Brat, so I’m from Nowhere and Everywhere!” Then I share the more influential places I spent my time in my formative years. Although my father traveled the world, we never got stationed overseas, though he was often TDY (Temporary Duty). And it’s universally acknowledged that Navy families have it the worst with their parent gone on long deployments. I hold them in very high regard in that. You could almost always recognize a military house by its furnishings from those places. I still can today. I have a few furnishings from my father’s travels that have been some of our coveted pieces for decades. Those things that, no matter where we moved or lived, were part of our home. Lovely craftsmanship representing the artisans of the places they spent time.
BRAT Dandelion Symbol
My Military Life
My hometown is nowhere.
My friends are everywhere.
I grew up with the knowledge that home is where the heart is, and the family is.
Mobility is my way of life.
Some wonder about roots, yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak.
I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers and hopefully giving enrichment in return.
Travel has taught me to be open.
Shaking hands with the universe, I find brotherhood in all men.
Farewells are never easy.
Yes, even in sorrow comes strength and the ability to face tomorrow with anticipation.
If when we leave one place, I feel that half my world is left behind,
I also know that the other half is waiting to be met.
Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades.
I will never grow up with someone, but I will mature with many.
Be it inevitable that paths part, there is a constant hope that they will meet again.
Love of country, respect, and pride fill my being when Old Glory passes in review.
When I stand to honor the flag, so also do I stand in honor of all soldiers,
And most especially to the parents whose life created mine.
Because of this, I have shared the rich heritage of military life.
~ Anonymous
The history of BRAT, which is not derogatory, but a proud moniker, appears to have been initially British Regiment Attached Traveler. Over the years, however, BRATs have redefined what we believe it represents. Brave, Resilient, Adaptable, and Tenacious! Most of us prefer the colloquial defining characteristics. We have GRIT. Life was both adventurous and sometimes hard. We had very demanding discipline in our homes. If we attended school on the post, we had few disciplinary problems in the classrooms. It was a teacher’s dream to have a roomful of overly respectful children. And unique to us, severe or chronic lousy behavior could impact our father’s careers adversely. I remember as a preteen two families ousted off the base by the commander due to their kid’s chronic disciplinary issues. It was a deterrent and one where even as youngsters, we felt an investment in our family survival. Much like a farmer’s kids might feel. Their chores weren’t just given to teach responsibility; they indeed were necessary for the whole family’s survival.
The Dandelion is the symbol of a Military Brat. It symbolizes their resilience and ability to take root wherever they move.
I recall being at a neighborhood Friday night cocktails years ago. One of the neighbors was recounting to another, and I was listening, about how sad it was that her husband no longer had his childhood home. That her parents still had hers and her room was as it was and all that. Mind you, she was in her 2nd or third home and had three teens. When she was all finished, I, of course, couldn’t help myself. “Well, we were military. We moved a lot. We don’t have a hometown. We are from everywhere and nowhere. We learned that ‘Home’ wasn’t a house in a neighborhood or town on a certain street. It was wherever we were with a very few of our most favorite things about us. That’s what ‘Home’ was, and is, to me still today.” I wasn’t her fav neighbor, so I was pretty sure it didn’t go over well. But, she needed some perspective. Haha
Anyway, I think my ability to weather some of these difficulties is well served from my experience as a proud American Military BRAT. We learned early on in life challenges that not all children experience. We also realized we were part of a group of children with very shared experiences, perspectives, and understanding as BRATs. We also know that some of us had more unique challenges than others, very much like Myelomaville in that. As caregivers, we share many of the same challenges, but not all have the same difficulties or journeys. But there is almost an immediate bond, just like BRATs.
These were the things rolling around in my head today. Remember Winston Churchill’s quote during WWII “When you are marching through HELL! KEEP GOING!” I’m sure I could find a Gen Patton quip somewhere about all this that would be equally appropriate.
Putting things out of my control into a different perspective is one of my most excellent coping mechanisms with all manner of challenging things in life. I live by several Lori Philosophy 101 things I’ve formulated over the years.
- I can’t control what others do
- Nothing stays the same
- The only thing I have control over is how I react to 1&2
And somedays, you just put one foot in front of the other and take one small step forward. But it is most important to observe and acknowledge every small or big victory, almost like when your toddler takes that first step and does a face plant. You clap and clap and clap! You validate and encourage them to keep at it! Sometimes as we get older, we forget to practice that straightforward thing of acknowledging and validating even the most minor victories. The more we do it, the more it grows and expands. So with so many positive accolades from so many of you, it just got me thinking, how do I stay optimistic and focused, stoic, and persevere? Thus my Morning Musings. I hope I wasn’t too preachy!
Let’s see how the comments are working and if they still are.