“Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley.
As sisters, of course, we share much together. The loss of our father at a very young age. Then later the loss of our mother in 2001. And the most amazing grandparent’s a couple of kids could ever hope for!
Lynn has never fully recovered from these losses. Sometimes I have to remind her when she is pining for them, that I too have the same parents!
Last summer her son called me and said I needed to get her “out of here”, meaning the Hudson Homestead in NE PA. I reminded him she does not fly, she’s terrified and hasn’t flown in over 22 years or been home to CA in 27. He assured me if I bought the ticket he would put her on the plane. So I did. We had not seen each other in a number of years and I was very anxious to see her. We talked often, but its not the same. She stayed 5 weeks and it was wonderful. She got healthy, mentally and physically, though we were still in the midst of Dave’s treatment, so it was fairly low key.
Hudson Homestead
Lynn struggles with loss, anxiety, depression, alcohol and self confidence. Yet she is one of the funniest, most ingratiating, sweetest spirits I have ever known. I adore her, and she is far more capable than she allows herself to realize. She was renewed from the visit and vowed she would love to do it again “next year”. Well “next year” came and we flew her out again, complete with two valiums from the doc, one for each leg of the trip. She says, they were “duds!” but she managed somehow. Everyone on the plane thought it was her first flying experience and she decided not to correct them as she was being spoiled and coddled, which was just what she needed. Strangers held both of her hands and talked her through the landing.
"Guard" Chickens checking me out upon my arrival!
This time, we were beyond Dave’s treatment, he’s in much better shape and so we played. We went to swimming holes for the day, drove to Huntington Beach to see Montana, laid on the beach (I got sunburned), drove up part of the coast, went to the Elk Grove Strauss Festival, and shopping for clothes.
While she continues her struggles, she is doing so much better, and is working very hard on her frame of mind and “changing the story in her head”. She willingly accepts my advice on vitamins, nutrition, exercise and belief in herself to confront whatever life brings her way with as little drama as possible. I’m so incredibly proud of her.
So back home to the farm she went. I will miss her terribly, but we are already planning my visit there and her trip next summer!
The old barn Otis used to milk cows in when we were kids
