“My life is my message.” – Mahatma Ghandi
Have you tried to help someone get up and down, when they are in a weakened condition or elderly? Handing your hand is not very stable for them. Here is a simple tip I learned from my mother’s hospice nurse that did the trick.
I often see folks struggling with someone they love and I have yet to go over and intercede to share this simple tip. One of these days I will get up the courage to do it. But for now, here it is for you.
I will try to articulate it for you in words, so bear with me.
So what you do, if they are sitting, is to get yourself directly in front of them.
Plant your feet not side by side, but one slightly forward and one back so that you can feel you are stable (strong leg in the forward position). Their feet should be on the outside of your forward foot (like if you were dancing). Yours should be about shoulder width apart. Be sure to bend your knees to get yourself in the proper position, you are low. Your back should be ramrod straight except for a very slight bending forward like squats in the gym (as if you are going to sit in a chair). Have them lean forward and put their arms around your neck, a nice cozy hug (again, like slow dancing).
You put your arms around them clasping at the back, UNDER their arms. (I would clasp by grabbing my wrist if I could with one hand.) Reposition your feet and back as needed to feel stable and secure. Take the time to get in a good strong position.
When you are both securely “hugging” one another, STAND together, straight up, to get them securely on their feet using your legs! Don’t lean back at your waist to get them up. It will throw you both off balance. Stay put until you are both in good balance before you move or let go.
If they have a walker, cane or wheelchair they will need, make sure you have that handy before you start so that you can reach it.
If they have trouble walking on their own and you are moving them from chair or bed to another location, then the two of you will continue to hug and gently two-step to position them and repeat the exact same process in reverse, setting them gently down. Often just letting them rest their hands on your shoulders and you holding them at their sides to guide them is enough. If possible, you be the one moving backwards. Then re-grab around under their arms to gently sit them back down. Foot position is really key.
Its a good idea to give them a “1,2, 3” que. In the beginning, I found that my Mom would try to “help”. I gently encouraged her to not do anything except wrap her arms around me. On the “three” she would simply stand. I would do all the lifting and balancing. We got to be pros.
The main thing is for you to be stable on your feet, bend your knees to protect your back, stand straight up (or down), not leaning backwards or “pulling”. Your whole body should move as one unit without anything bending but your knees. Once up, you can straighten your posture. Remember doing squats in the gym? Its a similar movement. Firm back, lift up or down without leaning forward or back at the waist once positioned. The difference here is your foot position. When you are doing squats in the gym they are lateral, side by side. When you are lifting someone, its important to have your feet one in front of the other for balance as you take on the extra weight and instability of your loved one. Having your feet one in front of the other will also give you a little less forward bending at the waist, but you get the idea. It is a solid movement of your entire body lifting with your legs. In the beginning if you struggle, don’t give up. Just try to assess what’s missing in your steps and work on it together.
Try it on someone who is healthy. Make sure they try to be somewhat dead weight. When it feels right you’ll know it. It is a solid motion that is quick, efficient and safe for both you and the patient. You would be surprised at how big a person you can assist this way. They are helping you in the standing generally, its just the balancing and a little extra umpf to get them up and on their feet.
You can use this for the car too. Basically everything is the same. Grab each other as described, two-step to position them, backing them to the car seat and then down. When you position them to sit in a car seat (sideways first) you will want to move them right up to the frame of the car. The back of their legs should practically be touching the car. As you go down be cognizant that their head is safely clearing the car frame. It should, but just be mindful. They will sit normally, you are just helping them to remain stable and erect in the process. Gravity works in your favor in the sitting, you are just controlling it so they don’t plop and flop!
Always consult them when you are lifting and sitting, that they feel balanced, secure and ready.
Once they are on the seat you can lift their legs and turn them around properly in the car. Getting out – reverse the process. Swing their legs around out of the car and onto the ground. Wrap your arms around under their arms, with their arms securely and gently around your neck, they will need to be in a slight forward position of the torso so they don’t bonk their head on the car frame. LIFT.
Use your legs, protect your back.
Hope that helps.
I did this a lot with my Mom and again with Dave, when he was really, really weak. In and out of the recliners, the car, bed, etc. He was able to walk so I would just wrap my arm around his waist and he my shoulder, side by side, but anytime he had to sit or stand, I used this technique when he was having trouble. If you have any doubts, ask a nurse. He/She should be well versed in this technique (or so one would hope). And once, I even met my dear friend Sally and her husband at the Chiropractor’s parking lot. It was a weird thing, but I learned her back was out and they were in route. We had the same chiro. I was on my way home, so I spun in there, waited and got her out of the car and all the way into the office, past the staring patients and staff (oh the DRAMA!) and onto the table in the examining room. We two-stepped the whole way. I have had back issues in the past and I knew how unstable and difficult it would be. If you could have seen her face when she saw me – it was precious. I waited until she was done and though she could walk by then (great marketing for Dr. Ring!), I insisted she let me help her back down into the car and “hatted” her hubby, Ron on the spot so he could get her out when they got home and up the stairs.
