“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.” – Dalai Lama
A bit of “fluff” today, you say? Well, there are those who find this stuff annoying and silly, and those who find it deep and meaningful. I fall into the latter group. And for those of you who read my blog with some regularity, already know this about me. It is not something I say, it is the walk I do, everyday, and its rewards do not go unnoticed by me.
So Feb 14-20th is Random Acts of Kindness WEEK! A whole week of doing something, actively, and it will indeed make you feel better and renew the belief that there are good people in the world, all around us, strangers even, that will extend themselves to make our day or lives better. How can this be if I’m the one doing the acts of kindness? Trust me, it will come back to you. Sometimes immediately and sometimes later on. Remember to acknowledge it when it does, a very important part of the exercise.
There used to be a bumper sticker that said, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness”. I remember vividly the first time I saw it, probably 20 years ago I’m guessing. I was struck by the thought. It was a small, short-lived, feel good movement that swept across the US.
Bumper Sticker
It has some very practical uses as well. My daughter will probably kill me for telling this story… but when she was itty bitty, she had difficulty in groups, getting along. It would be hard for you to know that now. She is thoughtful, kind, generous, giving, confident, demanding of herself, and very bright about the important things in life. Anyway, when she was in pre-school, about 3+ years old, and she was frustrated – every day. Frustrated that the other kids didn’t do as she wanted and was always competing, and as with many kids, she could spot adult injustices 90 miles off shore, reacting badly to it. I sat down with her and said, “OK, here is what we are going to do. Each and everyday I want you to do three nice things for three people. It can be anything from sharing your pencil to telling them you like their dress or hair. Do you understand? Can you try that?” With little tears in her eyes, she nodded. I went on further, “And everyday, when I pick you up, I’m going to ask you what you did OK?” She nodded. Well it rocked her little world, and mine, in a big way. Everyday she would jump in the car with her gorgeous smile, full of energy and happiness and would announce in her sweet little voice, “MOMMY! I DID THREE NICE THINGS TODAY!……” and she would launch into each lovely gesture she had perpetrated on some unsuspecting person. I would ask, “And?… what happened next?” She would get all wide-eyed and tell me how they played or shared or maybe they just smiled and said “Thank you!” We continued this over a couple of weeks until it simply became her new operating basis in life, to this day.
I don’t underestimate for a moment, the kindness I have received in my life. Really big kindnesses and really small kindnesses, that impact my daily life and make it better. And there is no greater pleasure I take in helping another with random acts of kindness. I really don’t know which one is more fun or fulfilling, but I just keep doing it. Expecting nothing in return is the best part. Learning to accept it from others is probably the more difficult side for many and one I’ve worked on – accepting graciously, the kindness of others. Doing it all without payment, reward, or acknowledgement, from anyone. Doing it – just because.
If you have never actively done this, give it a shot and by all means, have some fun.
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain
When I hear folks rattle off all the “things they have done” for this person or that person, in their fit of anger or annoyance because the other person didn’t reciprocate somehow… It is sad for me. They are missing the whole point. So remember, no strings attached, and if you feel taken advantage of in your giving and giving to “a person”, move on, give to others. Usually its a family member where this goes on. Come on now, you know what I’m talking about! Give it a whirl.
You show kindness every time you write a post. 🙂 Thank you Lori! And I’m going to take on this challenge next week. Thanks for the encouragement.
So here is my latest, its my daughter so not quite the same as a stranger, except that I’m not particularly sentimental about things like Valentine’s Day, but I know that she is. She and her wonderful boyfriend broke up in January. They have been dating for few years. He’s graduated & just wanting to do different things. It was painful. They still talk and see each other, but you know, its hard. So…. we have a great chocolate covered strawberry company nearby, but they are on the web (really beautiful http://www.berries.com). I ordered her a dozen to be delivered to her Sorority on Valentine’s Day. The card said, “I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but this is ‘just because’. We love you, Mom & Dad” She will be blown away. I hope it makes her day a bit brighter.
Oh, I will have to try that! I have hard of people paying for the coffee of the person behind them in the drive through and then it just keeps going. Thanks Hannah!
Great post Lori. I loved it.
I found a fun way to do this buy buying something for someone in a restaurant when they don’t know I’ve done it. Nothing big. For example, once my husband and I were in a coffee shop and there was a guy there counting his $$ to see if he could afford a muffin. Long story short, I was ahead of him and quietly told the server to tell him he had “won” a free muffin or sweet of his choice. His mouth dropped open but I went outside so he wouldn’t see me smiling with pleasure.
As he came out with his friend, he was so excited he couldn’t stop talking about how lucky he had been that day. He was just so happy!!!
Those are the most fun moments. A coffee for the person behind you in line; a glass of wine or paying for an already ordered dessert when you realize someone is celebrating a birthday in a restaurant (I tell them to tell the recipient it was a gift from the restaurant or whatever).
Honestly I don’t know who has more fun with it. Me or the recipient.
What a cheap thrill for me.
Great post as always.
h
I love it! It can make life way more interesting and fun! Watching people breakdown their suspiciousness sometimes is interesting as well. Well I’m glad to have a kindred spirit in Random Acts of Kindness. Who knows, maybe it will get more traction this time!
Lori: What a great post!!
When I travelled (I was a “road warrior” for 20 years), I would make it a practice of “trying” to catch someone’s eye ….as I rushed through the airport terminals. If they looked, I flashed a smile. Sometimes, I would get a return smile – sometimes, a blank stare.
I smiled when I read about your lesson to your 3 year old. I’ve often said, to someone I don’t know, “I love that blouse”, or “how pretty your hair looks” …..even when neither may be true. Amazing what a compliment does for a person.
Think how much better this world would be if everyone practiced random acts of kindness!
Again, loved the post!!
Sarah