“Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.” – Jawaharal Nehru
It’s hard to believe yet another year has gone by. It has been a good year for us, personally. Not so true for others and then some have done exceedingly well. It is a time of reflection for me. Something that I do throughout the year, but somehow the New Year’s festivities forces me to focus on it a tad bit more than I might otherwise.
Like many, I reflect on the year that has passed. My triumphs and mis-steps. I hope to start the new year with some resolutions of a few things I would like to improve, but I have learned it is better to keep working on them throughout the year, otherwise, they go by the way side in a matter of days or weeks when we fail to keep our promises to ourselves. I strive to keep trying to make improvements, everyday, not just once a year. I do like to take moments to write down my wishes, my postulates, if you will. I generally have some deeply personal ones, frivolous ones, serious ones, and then truthfully, the most joyful postulates I make are often not for me, but for others. People I meet along my days that are having a hard time of it, or someone wishing for a job they applied for, a college they want to go to, an internship. Those folks I spend a lot of time thinking about and wishing good things for, a break! Just a break to give them some hope to help push them through some of their current difficulties. My list is long, but there is no limit, so I just keep adding to it. Often I write them down throughout the year on a 3×5 card and stick it up on the fridge, in a cupboard, under a magnet at my desk, or folded up in a bowl in the kitchen. When I go through them from time to time, I’m always struck by how many of my wishes have come true, one way or the other. Sometimes I might be talking on the phone with someone I made a wish for and they are telling me of a wonderful thing in their life and I go over to the bowl and pull out a note I had written down for them and it just makes my heart swell. This time of year steps it up because we are all doing it, and I’ve come to enjoy it very much. Like a child wishing for a new puppy or a bike, its fun.
I was looking over my “stats” from Riding the Wave. I am so humbled when I look at it. From it’s fledgling beginnings of a place for me to heal. A simple hope, that maybe in my journey I would find new friends who understood all too well what I was going through. That we could reach out to each other over the internet and find support, peace, solace, kindred spirits. To then have the opportunity to meet some of you in person, or develop a relationship via email, facebook, the telephone and letters has been, well, like those colorful sprinkles on a yummy cupcake!
Anyway, I thought I would share with you what I’m looking at and how precious you have all been to me. Thank you always for stopping by and checking in. I imagine in a few weeks I will hit half a million visits. For a rare cancer blog, that’s pretty amazing.
Click to enlarge
I have two types of stats. The counter if you will, on the blog home page, counts each time someone visits. The graph above is more restrictive. It only counts unique visitors during a 48 hour period. But it does drill down deeper into what people are reading, where they came from, what they searched that brought them to my site, and where they went (if you clicked on a hyperlink). It doesn’t tell me who you are or anything like that, so no worries on privacy stuff there. 🙂
Remember, your wishes can be big, small, and everything in between. Reasonable, real, outlandish. There are basically are NO RULES. The only rules are the limitations you set. So practice not having ANY! No considerations, no requirements or parameters. No fears, no worries, no disappointments. I know it feels awkward at first. Just truly enjoy the process of having the wish, saying it out loud, thinking it, writing it down, sharing it with someone you care about. Whatever makes you happy.
And then if you haven’t, try something new this year… try doing it whenever you feel like it instead of just once a year. Whenever mine POP into my head, I grab one of those cards and plunk it down, stick it up, and get on with the rest of my day. This year, while waiting for a plane, I typed them in my smart phone note app. One after the other. I’m still adding to the list, as I do all year long. Perhaps in another lifetime I was really Tinkerbell? 🙂
Great words of encouragement (as usual)! I don’t know how I would have gotten by these last couple of years without “blogging”. No one understands the worries and concerns of a caregiver like another caregiver. Thanks for your support along the way.
thank you very much, lori, for your kind words. just knowing you are cheering me on with the wishes you expressed gives me such hope, such comfort, and i am so grateful to you. i’m off to re-stock my 3 x 5 cards! i bet i meet a lot of wonderful people during my treatment course, so i’ll be able to share my wishes for them, too.
hugs to you, too, lori!
Thank you very much ladies! And Karen, know that you are in all of our prayers as you embark on this new hurdle! Your courage and optimism has been a blessing in my life. My wish for you is not the difficult IV BC, but one that responds extremely well to treatment and you are one of the lucky ones, because you have much more to do in this world. Hugs!
what a great post on your blog, lori! as you know, i often refer to you and your blog as a life-line for me. the most wonderful messages you convey are those that underline how our journey, that often can feel like a nightmare, can open us up to changing our thinking and chosing to explore growth, empowerment, and getting outside of ourselves to help uplift others. keeping ourselves open to hope and not being afraid to be bold in what we wish for is so therapuetic. i know from what you taught me about that, once when hugh was at a crucial crossroad, that the simple act of writing down what we wished the outcome to be, released us immediately from the worry and “what ifs”. what we wrote “stuck” and cancelled out what we were fearful of. we kept that little note closeat hand as the date to learn hugh’s fate approached, then he transferred it to his pocket as we left for the myeloma cancer center.
when what we wrote down actually came true -what joy! as you had advised we kept some back up wishes tucked away too, things we could live with, if not the prise we most hoped for, which was also very helpful because it forced us to see that we needn’t get caught up in “it’s all bad, or all good. embarkiing on a whole new journey with my recent diagnosis of stage IV metastatic breast cancer, i am so grateful that i will be able to continue to indulge in this exercise. now i know that what happens in our lives, that things we wish for, can come to us, either straight up or sometines circuitously – but hope is always worthwhile and can nurture us as we honor and nuture it. so what a beatuful gift to give, one that inspires us to pay it forward for others and see what happens! happy new year, miss Tinkerbell, happy new year.
I always look forward to your posts. You have a way with words that seems to calm anxiety and make things seem ok. I think it is a gift, and I want to thank you for being willing to share your life and make the ride a little gentler for the rest of us. Hope you have a wonderful year Lori.
As caregivers, mothers, wives, females, I think we tend to wish more for others than ourselves… don’t you think? Anyway, I’ve enjoyed making a game of it and capitalizing on what I tend to do innately. I have learned to squeeze a few in for myself in the process! It seems that the more I did them for others (my comfort zone), the easier it became to do them for myself. Thanks Sarah. Hope that fella of yours is feeling better. 🙂
Great blog and what a wonderful idea….to write “wishes for others” on a piece of paper!
I had noticed, the other day, that you are nearing 500,000 page views…..wow! I’m sure some a friends and family, checking in to see if there’s something new going on in your life, or Dave’s. But, so often there are folks….like me…..caregivers that read your blog to see if you’ve learned something new, and are willing to share with us. And, MM patients must use you as an information resource.
Keep on, keeping on….doing what you do best….whether it be weaving, writing, or wishing (your 3 “Ws”). I’ll keep checking in, and maybe I’ll be the one that takes you over the one-half million mark!!