Riding The Wave – Multiple Myeloma

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

When I wrestled with the idea of starting a public blog, vs. the Caring Bridge site I had written on for 18 months, I tried to define why. Why would I spend the time writing about what most would consider a rather depressing subject? What could I offer? Would anyone find it helpful? Would it be good for me (and Dave)? I’m not a ‘writer’. Would I offend? All these questions I asked myself as the idea percolated.

I had received a small number of emails from folks who found me online asking questions, talking about their worries and fears, treatment choices, managing pain, etc. I discovered through those exchanges I knew a lot and that my point of view seemed to inspire and calm those who wrote to me. Their thanks and further conversations inspired me beyond measure. I learned much from them and tremendously enjoyed my dialogs with them. Many have become my friends on facebook and some I have met in person or talked to on the phone. It has always been an exceptional experience in this journey. Despite that many haven’t made it, I have felt in those moments of despair from the news that they passed away that I was richer for having known them. I have yet to find their passing from myeloma make me feel it’s time to withdraw and move on. Quite the opposite.

As our lives have moved on, and our myeloma no longer defines or consumes us, I still feel a huge magnetic draw to all of you who visit and some who are gracious enough to leave me comments or send me emails. To learn from you, to hear that you were thinking the same things and so glad I wrote about it and put it into words. Sometimes the topics I write about are what I would consider very “taboo” and certainly difficult, and you have embraced those ramblings with a warm and grateful hug, and each time, I am relieved. Relieved that you found it necessary and helpful to your own mental gymnastics in dealing with this disease, whether its myeloma or some other cancer. Once we get over the shock of our diagnosis and embark on our treatment choices, we are primarily dealing with the mental anguish and our dark moments, alone in our heads. In many ways, it is the harder journey. Whether we are the caregiver, the children, the advocate or the patient, we are all battling with our own demons and life’s experiences of loss and fear.

Yesterday, my blog turned 100,000 visits. Who would have thought such a thing would occur for someone like me? Just a Mom, a wife, a fledgling artist, who meanders through a typical life of no real importance, except those I come in contact with on a daily basis who make it seem worthwhile to me.

I thank you all for coming, stopping by, returning, following, subscribing, friending me, writing to me and meeting up with me in person. I thank you for the kindness you have extended me, and Dave, and sharing your journey and mine, together. I don’t know if I can truly express how much you have all contributed to Riding the Wave and to us personally. It has been quite a ride.

Throughout this endeavor when friends ask about my blog, I always say, “I will keep at it as long as it brings me fulfillment and folks are finding it helpful.” It has far surpassed my original inkling of my efforts to pour out my heart to others who share in this journey. I have overcome my fears of writing so publicly. It has met my goals to help others and share my point of view. I continue to enjoy the effort, your response, and find things to write about. As I venture off into other things, I am reminded of how grateful and blessed I am to have you in my life.

I will keep on writing, exploring all your blogs, the latest research efforts, successes and breakthroughs, commenting on things I observe or am curious about. And most of all, I will continue to enjoy getting to know all of you through your own journey of which I learn so much and gain such inspiration, courage, and strength.

Thank you,

Lori

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